Have you ever failed in life? Felt like a complete failure?
I have, more times than I can even count. Some failures landed on a grander scale than others…. those can be hard to come back from.
Like the times that I habitually lied to my husband regarding money… for a few years…. years. I justified it because I was “protecting” him from needing to know just how broke we were. He would find out, I would beg forgiveness, and then a couple of months later, the cycle would start up again. Day in and day out, I was sick over the lies that I carried. I’m shocked it wasn’t written in ash all over my face. It felt that way. I don’t like living in guilt. No one does.
Or like the years that I spent allowing personal guilt to eat me from the inside out over not having been a virgin on my wedding night. My husband was my only partner, but the fact that we hadn’t waited until marriage literally caused great turmoil for me…. for several years. After all, I’d once had a True Love Waits ring… I’d gone through the ceremony… I’d vowed in front of my parents, grandparents, and a church full of proud christians. Though I’d begged God for forgiveness, grace was a stranger to me. And, even when I became an acquaintance of His grace, I didn’t allow it to fully cover me…. I just couldn’t forgive myself. “I can’t be a pastor’s wife…. I’m so… unclean… how will I tell my children one day… “
And this doesn’t even scratch the surface, people. But guess what? I’m human. And God’s grace is beautiful.
Suzie Eller’s blog post today is SPOT. ON. regarding failure. It’s impossible to pick one quote from this post that is my favorite, because there are so. stinking. many. good. ones! Go read it. Share it. Someone out there needs this.
I’ll leave you with this one: “Failure doesn’t mean that God’s plan has gone away. Your mistakes aren’t bigger than God’s fingerprints on your life.” -Suzie Eller